Greek summer

Text: Nick Iliev
Photo: Miroslava Doynova

I lived in Athens for several years, on and off, and I have the pleasure to have several good, sound, reliable Greek friends. I also had a relationship with two local women, one of which went a tad too far. That particular relationship enabled me to polish up on my Greek, which I used to staunchly oppose at the beginning. Learn Greek, what the hell for? It transpired to be a useful tool in the end, and nowadays I don’t regret the sexual embargo that I was subjected to (you must learn 20 new words a day or you’re not getting it).

Bless her! Greece is a lovely country and a great place to visit, be it for the island-hopping, mountaineering, history, culture, or even for the sex tourism down in Filaraki or Mykonos. Drunk and willing British, Swedish, Norwegian and German women aplenty, just go there and take your pick. I truly enjoyed my years in the country and I was delighted at the opportunity to return there. Not only to climb the mountain, but also to see some old friends and have a drink for old times’ sake.

Greeks are good folk, decent people. I mean, they are the only people on planet earth who have lost their marbles and actually want the whole world to know about that. Having said that, there is nothing more annoying and frustrating than meeting a Greek person for the first time, especially if you have lived there for a number of years and you have heard the same story over, and over, and bloody over again. They have this inherent biological trigger device that is immediately activated when they meet a foreigner. They have to tell you how Greeks came up with philosophy, democracy, this and that, and how Greek civilisation started everything. How every imaginable English word has Greek roots (Scotland is a Greek name, meaning Dark Land, and Scottish names with Mac prefixes, as in MacDonald, originate from ancient Greek Macedonia)".

The next thing that a man will tell you is that his mum makes the best moussaka. You call someone a "malaka" and he’ll happily return the compliment, but if you really want to upset someone, just tell him "your history means nothing to me" or "your moussaka is crap". Now, that’s personal.

Capital cattle ride
You may be surprised but Greek taxi drivers are the worst in Europe, bar none. Even in Bulgaria, once you’re in a taxi, that taxi is yours, the light switches to red, and that’s that.

No such chance in Greece. There the cabbies will force as many people into the taxi as possible; they would gladly put someone on the roof of the vehicle, if it weren’t for the marauding police. Their taxis actually operate like the marshrutki in Sofia. If you protest, the cabbie just looks at you angrily. "You’re malaka, he is also going your way, what’s your problem?"

Foreigners are subjected to "fixed rates" or the classic "the counter is out of order, endaxi re file?" Hence it’s funny when you get in a taxi and the bloke takes the longest route imaginable, thinking you are a silly tourist who has just arrived in the land, not knowing you know the place well as well as the language. Suddenly you start talking to him in Greek, telling him to alter course and stop messing about. And then it’s all bubble and squeak, his machismo deflates and his dream of getting 30 euro suddenly evaporates.

We spent two days in Thessaloniki, visiting the White Tower and doing the constitutional foot patrol across the old town and along the seafront, sampling its atmosphere, scent, sights and sounds. Thessaloniki is Greece’s second major economic, industrial, commercial and political centre, and a major transportation hub for the rest of southeastern Europe. Its traffic is worse than Sofia’s but a gem in comparison to the sheer madness of Athens. But this is not the only element that puts it head and shoulders above Athens, at least in my humble opinion. The town, because it is less congested, has substantially more green belts, it has a more European architecture than the capital, at least in the old town, and the people are more down-to-earth, a lot friendlier and laid-back than their Athenian compatriots.

Read the full article on The Sofia Echo.